Brette's Answer: The judge will look at the entire situation, including his relationship with her and make a decision based on that. He has seen her every Sunday for 3-4 hours at my home since her birth. How can I divorce my wife without people thinking I'm shallow? You are a good role model for your girls, so continue to be that. Even if you go to court for violating the order and the judge orders your ex to bring him back, making your son stay is difficult. You can go to a lawyer or you can just get over it. Brette's Answer: I suggest you talk with him to find out what the problem is - it might be something that can be solved. I know my step son's mom tried to prevent me at times from picking him up, and the courts said that can't happen. I've found unbelievably awful things on his laptop. The court will make a decision that is in the best interest of your son. Advise please... Brette's Answer: No. ? I think the best way to handle this would be to contact their mother in a friendly and non-threatening way and say you would like the opportunity to know them. Your son undoubtedly needs his father in his life. Try and put all personal differences to the side, and then perhaps after you’ve both got to know each other, and more importantly, your kids are comfortable with her, then let her pick them up. Brette's Answer: You could file a petition in family court for sibling visitation. When she turned 1, my ex stopped wanting anything to do with her. What if he's not trained to handle allergic reactions? How do I help my child understand her father's absence? Don't make anything up, but be honest that you just don't know why. S's Question: My daughter just met her father after 13 years. You could also petition to have his parental rights terminated and then have your current husband adopt her. Does that mean my companion cannot see the kids in public places? You are going to need people to come in and testify to this. Then make it two hours. We have never been married and there are no custody papers, but I allow him to see her whenever he wants. He has friends in his life again that have been convicted of child endangerment and willful harm. When my son hit 8, his father tried to get custody and the courts found him unfit morally and I still have sole custody. . What if my ex wants our son in daycare while he works? You should file as soon as possible (as soon as you have some evidence) and ask for a temporary order halting visitation. My current husband is the only father-figure my daughter has known since she was 3 months old. Can I prevent the visit if he hasn't seen our son for over 2 years? He hasn't complied with the terms of the order and is not entitled to visitation, period. What is a realistic visitation schedule if he travels all the time? What if he refuses to take them to their extracurricular activities? He doesn't want to be involved in anything his child is doing and is not even providing insurance and making me pay and handle everything. Brette's Answer: Unless your order prohibits it, no. Can the fact that we have a history of domestic violence help me even though it has been 2 years since he has put his hands on me? His parents have always been very good to me and my son, and actually help me with paying daycare each month. Your time with your children is your time. He is now claiming I kept him from the children, yet they go to the same school as his other children do, and his mother visits them on a regular basis. It is possible to walk away from your child and realize your mistake and come back and be a real parent. He keeps threatening to call the police if I don't tell him. How can I ensure he takes better care of my kids when he has them? My daughter does not want to continue seeing him because she is scared of him and want no contact with him. A's Question: I have had physical custody of my 7 year old daughter since she was 3 months old. I sent sun-block and even sent a reminding text to his father about applying the sun-block. What can I do so that it doesn't affect my son? This also makes me wonder if she has some kind of commitment phobia, as her relationships do not seem to last long. Brette's Answer: If I were the Law Guardian in your case, I would want to find out why she is afraid of him. Brette's Answer: If she agrees to visitation, then yes. What should I do if she told me her Dad left her home alone? What if my teenager refuses to come home from visitation? Your child deserves to have two parents if possible. Rachel's Question: If I have sole physical custody, and when he has visitation, can I make it so that he has to spend that time with her and him not pawn her off on his family? Child visitation and child custody exchanges are a vital part of maintaining and building relationships between a child and each of their parents, but they can be a major challenge for the parents. Brette's Answer: Neither parent must account to the other how they spend their time with the children. How can I prevent my ex from taking my son out of the state? The custody and visitation schedule isn't a guideline. Darlene's Question: My ex and I have joint custody of our 5 year old daughter. Will the court require my ex to have separate bedrooms for the kids? Carla's Question: I have been in and out of my son's life since he was little. Good luck. Can we be held in contempt for not completing it? My 4 year old son has come home with dirty underwear on, teeth that haven't been brushed, and un-bathed. How can I protect my children from this mental abuse and not get in trouble with the visitation court order? Good luck. If she has been with your partner under three months, I think it is fair that you request that they have been together a bit longer before you take your children over, as you do not want them to bond with this woman if she is to up and leave again. I suggest you talk to an attorney if you want to modify the plan because you will need a lot more than just a general dissatisfaction to convince the court. After all, he has never met or seen her. Above that it is check-marked that we are to share legal and physical custody per "parenting plan". Father was granted limited visitation every other weekend from Saturday to Sunday with no weekday visitations. Susan's Question: We've been trying to work out a 50/50 split visitation for the past month. In the first instance, as long as he is staying at a safe and clean place and your child would not be disturbed by going there, it should be fine. Brette's Answer: The person who does not attend is the one who will face contempt charges. Does my ex's wife have any rights as a step parent? I would suggest that your attorney send his attorney a letter saying he must provide his own car seats and you will not give him the children if he does not have them. What if his girlfriend spends the night if the parenting plan prohibits it? What argument can I use to object to the disclosure of my medical records? It can even be made into a PDF and sent to the ex's mobile device so there will be no excuse for excuses. i be conscious of 3 females and adult men who fell sufferer of that, and blew off all of their friends to make their better half satisfied. What should I do before the next visitation? Can I refuse to bring my youngest daughter to him on his weekend? Anne's Question: What do you do when an ex won't fulfill his visitation requirements? Could I request the visits take place at a different location instead like his Mother's? Can he get visitation if he has serious mental problems? ‘An ex-partner is only legally bound to pick up the children for contact and return them back to you if there is a court order in place stipulating they need to do this,’ explains Jane. Are there legal ramifications if he's denied me visitation for 7 years? But is this true or are you trying to just be difficult? You really do need an attorney. He has been diagnosed as bi-polar, and has been told he is borderline schizophrenic. This is the first summer visitation since our divorce and our kids are very active in sports and other activities. Every time she comes home from visitation, she has bruises (once even fingerprint bruises on her thigh) or her G tube site is raw and red. It takes time to build a relationship and everyone has to be patient. My question is what motion can I file to stop visitation until he is medically trained and what proof do I need? You should request that a Law Guardian or Guardian ad litem be assigned to the case. Keep a calendar indicating what days he has had the kids and when his scheduled times are, so that if you need to go to court to straighten it out, you have proof of what has been happening. If he's not using it, it could be reduced. I am trying to "play nice" and he is telling me to get a lawyer. He lives 2 hours away from me as well and that's a very hard schedule to keep. If he doesn't you can call the police or you can go to family court for enforcement. What are my rights? If he wants it changed, he has to go to court and request a modification. Amy's Question: My ex-husband wants his girlfriend (whom he left me for) to drive our children from my home in Connecticut to Philadelphia, where he lives (a 4-5 hour drive). You can certainly ask for a reciprocal order if you want. Your rules sound reasonable to me. She also says that there is no way to force him to fulfill his visitation. It really depends on the circumstances. One of single moms' most common frustrations — and by frustrations, I mean ENRAGEMENTS — is dads who don't stick to visitation schedules. By the days they stay at his place or the actual time he spends with them? What if he refuses to pick our son up from sports practice? The therapist advised me to keep saying no to parenting time. If he's not available, it's not required. If you want visits to take place, keep doing what you are - offering him a safe place to see the kids. Their grandmother watches them during the day. He sounds like a good candidate for supervised visitation. The last time he visited, he and I got into a physical fight where he hit me. try to pick up the child, and if so, the name and relationship to the child of that person. Your daughter does need to have a relationship with him. Good luck. You need to ask to have a law guardian or guardian ad litem appointed to look into this situation and report back to the court. Get Expert Advice About Divorce and Custody! You did not mention how old your son is and that is going to be a huge factor in this. Michelle's Question: I have been divorced for a little over a year and the visitation schedule gives my ex-husband and his family way too much time with my children. your daughter is being placed in harm). Yes - but if she's a nut job then the kids could be "sick" if you know what I mean! Liz's Question: My custody decree states that my ex is to be present to pick up the children for visitation. Will a judge agree with him that he doesn't have to take the kids to any of their extracurricular activities? He returned him a short time later. Eva's Question: My ex and I have been trying to work out the every other weekend thing, but he commonly calls the night before HIS weekend to say that he has to work late (voluntary over time) and can't take the kids. His Dad picked him up for visitation and flew him out of state to go deep sea fishing, without telling me about his plans. I do not want my sexuality to endanger my custody and my ex has threatened this. You should take a photo of the allergic reaction she is having. He put a stipulation in the divorce for no overnights until my ex completed the parenting class for divorced parents. I agree that they should not be spending time with his ex-girlfriend instead of with him, so that is an important point that you could use in court should it come to that. Miss my husband he works out of state no matter what I do I miss him n it's a drag hanging out with other people what's wrong with me? I'm wondering if my son's father is not available to pick up our son on time for his visitation time, is it legal for him to send his girlfriend to pick up my son? You want your son to sleep at home the night before school when possible, so a Sunday evening return makes more sense. Can I limit visitations to no overnights for medical concerns? Last month I had to get a protective order against him. Brette's Answer: You'll have to make a motion to have the court reconcile the two. Jessica's Question: My 10 year old daughter just met her biological father 5 months ago, and they are attending supervised visitations. People other than parents may have legal authority over a child. So, showing that you are now more stable, better prepared to parent, and have improved your life since you were last in court are things you can offer. He never sees the children, even though two different children therapists have met with him to stress the importance of structure. It drives me crazy thinking about. He used to see our son two times a week for 3hrs and every other weekend from Friday night to Sunday at 6pm. Is this legal? We have a daughter that is almost 3 years old, and now he wants to take our daughter over to his new house. You need to get the order modified to reflect this so you won't have any problems. There are a couple of avenues open to you. My daughter shares a room with the 10 year old son when she has her extended visitations with her father. He now says he doesn't need to have his own and he can use mine anytime he wants. I am worried because my ex's parents are trying to get their son to file for custody so they can have my son. I know I can't control what happens while with him, but things like, what is your plan on keeping our daughter from wandering into the pool area when no one is around? How can I make sure he'll take care of her right? Now, the other side of this is why don't you want to allow this? A girlfriend might be something the kids need to get used to, but it doesn't mean she is dangerous. I also suggest she get an attorney. Would they just give him my kids without them knowing him first? My ex disappeared for the initial few months of my daughter's life (she is now 9 months old), and when she was 4 months old, he started coming to see her intermittently a few times a week. He has a sleeping problem that makes him fall asleep at any point in time and it's hard to wake him up and I worry about my son's safety. Brette's Answer: Custodial interference is grounds for a change in custody. Go to court and get an order of custody and visitation setting out a fair schedule. Since your order probably just says "alternate weekends" there's nothing wrong with you keeping the kids that weekend. DOCUMENT all the threats, the Girlfriend is making, and that she is picking up your child etc. Do I continue to allow my son to go for his visits? What forms do I need to revise the visitation schedule? or consistent with possibility take a taxi? He does pay child support. He pays child support but does not help me with anything else. No one is allowed to pick up your daughter unless they are on the visitation court papers. What can I do, and how can I keep my son at my house. And they can get in trouble. If not, then the Dad can make whatever arrangements he needs for childcare on Saturday.) Then, if you all can be, at minimum, civil to each other, it will go a long way with how your children deal with the chaos that goes with divorce, dating, 2nd marriages, etc. If he cannot pick her up than he loses out on that weekend. Stephanie's Question: The girls are supposed to go to their fathers every other weekend. That seems to be a reasonable way to handle it. If we take out our Wednesday visits, what options do we have to make up for all this lost time? Can my ex-husband’s new girlfriend really pick up our kids after school? He still sees our son whenever we go back to that state and I try to give him holidays and summers. What can I do to get my ex to spend time with his children instead of pawning them off on his uncle? How can I prove his house is too unsanitary for visitation? I just want to see my son. The best plan is to have a calm and reasonable conversation with your ex and simply let him know that your child is interested in spending time with him during visitation. His mental health is of grave concern. It sounds as if he's having a hard time dealing with your remarriage and is trying to use the kids as a weapon against you. Should I allow my son to see his dying Dad after no visits for years? Who will be driving and caring for our daughter if you decide to have a few beers? Only the court can decide that. Can I restrict visitation if I'm afraid he'll hurt our children? You can't always rely on what your child tells you because it can be skewed and not the whole truth. Maria's Question: I am not able to express any more than an ounce of breast milk, and my son never has taken a bottle. What should I do? If they release a child to someone else, that is, against policy and laws. Brette's Answer: You can ask for anything you want, it will be up to the judge to decide if it is warranted. He needs to know he has to go in with her and can never leave her unsupervised around a pool or body of water. As for pick-ups, if you are comfortable with his parents driving, that seems like a good solution. Am I obligated to send the kid's medications if we alternate weeks? He hasn't seen him for 2 years, yet it sounds like your ex has attempted to make contact and you have discouraged him. No judge is going to give him weekend overnight visitation if he has no home. But parents sometimes disagree about custody of a child. MJP's Question: My son's father lives in Florida and travels extensively across the country with a professional sports organization (10 months out of the year). He has blocked all phone numbers and I can't even call him to check on my son. 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